Development Stages in a Blended Family

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Without a thoughtful consideration, hard work and dedication, success in blended family cannot be obtained just like what other things life requires. Step parents, step siblings and step children can create a happy step family but not until the blended family endured the development stages.

Actually, the blended families members must understand and do the step family life with romanticize. Expectations can be distorted especially when you assume that your step siblings, step kids and step parents will feel instant bonding to one another. There are also some step parents that prefer their efforts to please their step kids and be appreciated but those biological children sees blended family as an improvement. Actually, children wanted their original or biological parents to be back once again.

It is true that life can be falling apart daily. In essence, there might be a situation where the spouse eats regular meals with the children and discovered that he or she is married to a person who eats on the run. Step kids also consider that loving their step parents is like forgetting their biological parents. Although you can ask your children to love their step parent, it is not right or fair to demand to love their step parent. With this, step parent will understand the painful feelings that these children are experiencing and able to provide them the right value in order to develop their blended family. You can visit The Blended and Step Family Resource Center if you need help with your step family or step children.

Compromise is Essential in a Blended Family

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Although compromise is not considered to be in a list of the expectations of the blended family, it is actually one of the single most important tools to the couples when entering the remarriage. They fail to understand that they are not simply merging families but they are also merging values to the blended family.

Actually, compromise is essential when it comes to merging values. Some of the values included in the blended family are parenting styles, expectations of family, levels of discipline, or if the ex-spouses are going to be included in a blended family gatherings. Also, what your children will call and treat you as some of the daily basis of values included in a blended family.

Healthy communication is the first step to a positive compromise in a blended family. We all know that every human being wants to hear with their opinions since we all know that opinion matters a lot. Therefore, practicing active and considerate communications with your spouse can lead to a compromise.

The relationship of the couples thrives when they compromise each other. Most of these couples who created an unbreakable bond with mutual consideration and respect are able to surpass the challenges included in a step family or blended family life. One good reason is that they are confident with their relationship. Therefore, compromise is essential and not just needed when it comes to blended family.  If you are looking for help about your blended family, you can visit The Blended and Step Family Resource Center for more info.

About One Right Way to Build a Blended Family

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Over several years, there are number of stages that progress in a blended family. These stages are considered to be appreciation and getting to know each other stages as well as daily routines, rules and expectations. Furthermore, these stages also include resolving issues and developing traditions to the blended family. In essence, unity is one being build up. In the end, the step kids will be different from their step parents and will be able to separate to their own role within their family. Therefore, making step kids, step parents and step siblings evident along the process. This will result to feeling of no one is an outsider in the family.

In order for each family members of your blended family to adjust their new role, they will surely need time for it. The stages prove that step family is dynamic and it changes over time. You might experience problems or clogging for your blended family at the start but with persistence, patience and helpful strategies, the blended family will learn the acceptance and unity from one another. This will ensure the feelings that they really belong to the family. The step parents or partners are the fundamental basis to make it successful so a strong relationship is essential to be seen. When the step kids in a step family feels and determine that there is a system being met, then they will be contented to what they have, which makes the step family stable in the long run due to this.

Discipline by Guilt in Blended Family

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If there is something you focus in the past, then the guilt is one of these. It is through when it comes to the blended family about the pain that the parents brought to their children due to the divorce or separation. We sometimes forgot about the important things for our children such as setting their future to be better due to these mistakes we did.

When you married a new partner with kids, then you simply need to understand that these kids will be part of your new step family as well. Being a blended couple needs to create boundaries and rules for the children as well as when it comes to management of the home. Therefore, for your children to become independent and live as responsible adults, you need to set a blended family environment centered for independence and responsibility, which you and your partner should establish.

There are overlook behavior that we normally tolerate in a child due to the feelings of guilt that we have in a blended family. Basically, the main reason is that we do not want them to be upset more with it. You need to ask yourself if there is a tendency for the child to misbehave and whether you need to encourage or discourage it. When ignoring these kinds of behavior, we also encourage it. We need to be proactive with other options then if you want to discourage it and therefore a decision will be centered if you will need to tolerate this from your step kids.

Getting Along Better with Step Children

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The time to take in order to develop a good relationship with your step kids is one of the hard things you need to consider for step parenting. Some of the difficulties you can expect to step parenting are bitterness, resentment, misunderstanding and poor behavior. And step kids can also make mistakes that you need to accept. However, you need to consider things that will make the blended family a great place for everyone and this can be achieved by doing and following various things.

Normally, step kids are facing the difficulties of accepting the lost from their mother or father that are biologically. It is hard for them to take the fact that they need to replace them with their new step parents. They will also be not comfortable of calling their new parents as mom or dad since they are not able to replace their old parents. Therefore, you goal is to make an environment for the family that everyone will feel, cared and loved.

It does not mean that step children can do whatever they want when it comes to getting along with them. You need to consider that parents have the duty to their children as not friend but a role model for structure, support and guidance. Therefore, you need to provide boundaries and rules as a step parent to your blended family. For more information about managing step family or blended family, you can visit The Blended and Step Family Resource Center for the details.

How Holidays Go in Blended Family

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Unresolved feelings of anger and bitterness, mixed allegiances to the step parents and birth parents, loyalty of the children to the parents and step parents, conflictions to the ex-spouses and many more are some of the things you can get when you blend two families. Furthermore, adding holiday will surely provide extra challenges to everyone.

Luckily, you successfully overcome the peak holiday stressors such as Thanksgiving Day and other dinner party with the extended family. Your spouse developed and became comfortable to the surroundings of the extended family. Your parents also accept the step kids.

Yet, you may encounter sadness especially the kids and step kids when it comes to Christmas time since they cannot be present or go to the ones they love. It is not normal that children won’t be able to go to you or with their other parent during special holiday occasions. This also applies to you as well. You cannot simply move on to life by forgiving them and find remorse to enjoy the celebration.

A blended family is actually a family that is combined and possesses different rituals in life. You cannot assume your step kids to be same as your kids since they grew up from different environment in the past. Therefore, having a holiday celebration with your blended family will help you and your family to overcome sadness and feelings that are bad. You can visit The Blended and Step Family Resource Center for more information if you need help with your step family.